Self.

IMG_3188r Since I was a teenager, or maybe even before, I've had a hard time with self help and affirmations proclaiming the "power of the self".  There was an early interest in different religions and philosophies in my life, and Buddhism made the most sense to me.  The concepts around the idea of the self and no-self resonated with me, and since then I've had a hard time feeling as though I had any importance.

Now I know that sounds really sad, but I don't mean it in a depressed, my life has no meaning, sort of way.  I've just always felt like there are so many people in the world who are all equal.  Why should I feel unique, valuable and in any need for special introspection?  For the most part, humans are in a constant pull between survival and trying to better their lives in any way that they can.  My experiences in dealing with introspection and self discovery couldn't be much different than all of those that came before me, could they?

Recently, there's been a nagging sensation in my being.  Like I've been ignoring an essential part of myself.  Like I need to pay attention to my needs - and to assess what it is that my life is lacking.  It's hard for me to describe, but I'm at the beginning of my journey, and I hope that with time I will find my words, and whatever else it is that I'm supposed to find.

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